Mom’s Laundry Rules

Pajamas – Do not put pajamas in the dirty clothes after only one wear. It is scientific fact that you do not get dirty whilesleep. Pajamas can be worn many timesbefore they smell bad enoughto warrant being thrown in the dirty clothes. Exception: You may put pajamas in the dirty clothes if you throw up on them or something else that may be deemed disgusting, but only if they stink.

Socks – Unroll your socks before putting them in the dirty clothes. Otherwise, I will start washing and drying them in their original rolled up little balls. Special note: Unroll socks before throwing them down the laundry chute. If you don’t, the law of physics causes them to bounce off the washer and land behind the washer or dryer, and Mom is getting too old to crawl back there and fish them out.

Clothes Hung Up – Clean clothes can be easily removed from the clothes bar by gently lifting up on the hanger and pulling towards you. The clean item can now be removed from the hanger for wearing. The wrong way to remove clean clothes is to YANK on one corner of the garment. This causes the hanger to go flying around the clothes bar, scratching the wall and becoming impossibly entangled with the neighboring hangers. Special note: This makes Mom want to choke children. So far, she has been able to refrain from this action.

Dirty Clothes Rule – If you have made the decision to put something in the dirty clothes, do not later decide that you, for some reason, now need to retrieve it by digging through the clothes baskets, leaving behind a mess that looks like a small tornado whipped through the laundry room, leaving a scene of devastation in its wake. Special note: The only thing worse than having to put stinking clothes in the laundry baskets is having to do it over and over and over.